Frequently Asked Questions:


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Is the ending of Lich pronounced like "itch" or like "Ike"? (Like "itch," obviously.)
Mention that I never write about rape, sexual assault, or harming children, and that if you ever do see that in one of my stories, rest assured that the culprit will be lavishly, grievously afflicted.
Q) What is thy bidding, my master?
Q) Are you dead? (Yes, but don't worry, I'll keep writing.)
Q) Are you really a Lich?
Q) What phylactery do you use, and where can I buy one?
Q) How long have you been dead?
Q) Were you a terrible person before you became undead, or did that come after?
Q) How do you write with bones instead of fingers?
Q) Do your books contain hidden curses?
Q) Can I summon you for book signings?
Q) How do you keep your robes so crisp after all these centuries?
Q) How can I best serve the Lich?
Q) What do you call your fanbase? The Bone Choir? The ___?
Q) Are there rituals for becoming a beta reader?
Q) Do you ever miss your flesh?
Q) Is immortality everything it’s cracked open to be?
Q) How do you balance undeath and productivity?
Q) What's your mourning routine?
Q) How do you handle rejection letters? Do you raise the editor from the grave to explain?
Q) Are your stories safe for children?

About 2/3rds of my dreams are nightmares. I've watched so many episodes of being disemboweled by a chainsaw, or a killer putting babies in a blender and making them into a smoothie and drinking it, that I'm more or less immune to the shock and I've gotten to the point where I'm like, "Maybe I can make some money on this."
What's your real name? - true names have power, blah blah blah